Poems
Click below to read, hear or see me perform a selection of poems.
Colostomy del Mar
It’s 2035 AD and a time of consternation
For the greying wrinkled remnants of the acid generation
The ghost of Faust is in the house and it’s time to pay the bills
For selling our soul to the mixing bowl
Of Class A’s and dodgy pills
Have you dance induced lumbago?
Or a gurn-popped lazy eye?
Has your liver been shrivelled yet?
Is your serotonin dry?
Is your septum just a rotting flap
Of cocaine ravaged gristle?
Did your love of bass
Leave its trace
With ears that always whistle?
Are you permanently paranoid?,
Eternally depressed?
(If you think old folk are grumpy now
You ain’t seen nothing yet)
And advances in life sciences
Mean you’ve still long years ahead of you
As vegetables and cabbages
In a psychotropic stew
Ibiza’s long since clubbed out
And it’s a quiet haven there
Now the global centre
Of new retirement care
Crowds of granny trannies
Fill the cafes and the bars
Wheeled out to watch the sunset
On Colostomy Del Mar
The hot names now aren’t Pacha
Cream or Ministry
The flyers are for BUPA
Medicare and PPP
‘Come spend your golden years
At the Smiley Face Retirement Park
The best health care your money can buy
And lasers after dark’
There are frayed bandanna burn-outs
With scary smiley stares
Clutching rusting whistles
Hands frozen in the air
There are arthritic DJ’s
With crooked angled necks
Mixing silent tunes
On imaginary decks
There are gold-toothed Stussy casualties
Glazing into space
Twitching and cavorting
To soundless drum and bass
There are techno geriatrics
On fluoro plastic drips
Acid glow-stick spastics
And break-dance hip-op crips
And the only ray of light
Through the psychosis and the ills
Is when the nurse comes round at 5 o’clock
And says ‘It’s time to take your pills’
